


A Hero's Death

by halfaperson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Dies, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), i saw infinity war weeks ago and only now did i get around to like. thinking about it?, it kinda takes place in the movie but a tiny bit AU, no happy ending, not really ship-y, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 10:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14953289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfaperson/pseuds/halfaperson
Summary: "You can’t save everyone, but you did save me - I’m not a martyr and you’re not my cause."-If the death scene in Infinity War had taken longer, and Bucky and Steve had gotten to have a conversation for the last time.





	A Hero's Death

**Author's Note:**

> kinda steve's pov. doesn't make that much sense. also, the romance is vaguely subtextual, but if i decide to continue this, it won't be so much anymore. thanks for reading?

“Steve…”

He turned to a voice so familiar he could identify it faster than his own, almost shocked at hearing his name the one way Buck had never uttered it before. Desperation laced the single word so potently, Steve turned as fast as he could, every muscle in his body whispering _go to him_. And then he saw - in just less than a moment, he saw that they had failed, that they had lost, that this was it, and he was losing the only important thing he had left. The only relic of what he had once been and the first person he had ever loved. Perhaps, he knew, the only person he had ever loved. There was a fraction of a second between when the world was spinning and when he saw Bucky’s only real hand left begin to turn to dust, but in the moments after, it felt like a lifetime. His body moved on instinct to his best friend while his everything else remained standing there, distancing himself from the situation in whatever way he could. It was over, Thanos had won, and all Steve could think was what he’d been told many years ago - _America’s golden boy does_ not _cry_.

Bucky’s voice came again, oddly comforting, as he was not the one whose hand was melting to ash as they watched but instead a bystander or a counsellor for Steve himself, and just like when they were kids he made Steve want to be stronger than he was, and _better_ , like Buck always was. “It’s okay, Stevie,” and he realised that against all odds, despite how hard he’d fought against it, Captain America was crying - tears slipped down his face in a downpour he couldn’t put a stop to - this was the _end_.

“You shouldn’t be the one saying that, Buck. You’re- you’re…” He couldn’t put words to what was happening, couldn’t make it real. Better to pretend like they were back in their apartment in Brooklyn, tiny and cramped together while Steve coughed his lungs out and Bucky said the same thing - and against all odds, it had been okay for him. Bucky had been the one to pull the short straw, and yet Steve always seemed to be the one to need his pieces picked up.

“It is alright. Really. We can’t all get our happy endings, and at least I don’t have to die a villain,” His voice was smaller than Steve had ever heard it, and the wan smile on his face made Steve want to pull him close and whisper that he’d die a thousand villains' deaths if it meant his Buck got to live one day as a hero. James Buchanan Barnes had always been his hero, because even America itself needs his idols, his inspirations, his love. Steve half reached out, tried to say something, but Bucky’s face grew further melancholy and distant when he glanced down at where his right hand had once been, now a small pile of ash on his lap and a disintegrating wrist above that. Steve wanted to crush Thanos’s skull between his fingertips, wanted him to hurt even half as much as he did in that moment, because that son of a bitch had to be enjoying it - why else could it possibly take so long?

“Punk. It’s okay. You can’t save everyone, but you did save me - I’m not a martyr and you’re not my cause. I’m just James Buchanan Barnes and you’re Steven Grant Rogers, and…” He trailed off again as he watched the last pieces of his shoulder float away with the light breeze - the sounds of battle had dimmed along with it, or if not, Steve was too stuck inside this moment to hear them, his teammates perhaps raging a losing battle feet away or perhaps shouldering their losses, shocked and in pain like the rest of the world but nothing like the two of them, because Steve couldn’t imagine anyone loving another person more. 

Bucky’s feet were gone too, and halfway to his knees - it could have been almost comical, if not for the fact that the only person Steve could ever… the only one who… the only Bucky, was fading away at his fingertips and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it but sit and watch. He gathered Buck closer to him then, because what else was he to do, and wondered if this could be the end of him, too.

“I love you, jerk,” He muttered, meaning it exactly like the hundreds of times they’d said and thought it before and entirely differently, because if there was ever a better time to lay it all on the line, he hadn’t been brave enough to do so. Steve Rogers, everything good and wholesome about his shit hole country, loved Bucky Barnes, every good thing the world and shitty people had fucked up.

Bucky started to cough, then, as the falling apart began to reach the outsides of his lungs, his throat, and it struck Steve as almost ironic - once again, one of the two of them was tiny and coughing in the other’s arms, while nothing and everything was the same. “I love you, Steve. You have to keep doing this, y’know that? You’ve gotta keep going. I love you because you’re too good-“ He was moments from losing his voice altogether, perhaps dying because of Thanos but before the becoming ash could get to him, one final defiance “-and you’re my hero. My Stevie.”

The last moments were not cinematic nor beautiful. Steve did not scream at the sky, asking his God for guidance or explanation, and Bucky was not eternally beautiful as he faded away - instead, his face became slightly blue once his lungs were lost and slowly but surely, everything Steve had ever known or loved became the sand slipping through his fingers. He sat there, unmoving, for God knew how long, trying to process everything that his mind didn’t want to. He kept turning the words and events over and over in his brain; _They lost. Bucky’s gone. Half the world is ash. Bucky’s_ gone _. Thanos has unlimited power and will do God knows what next._ Bucky _is_ gone _._ His world was a different place - his world couldn't exist without him. Bucky was _gone_ , and Steve felt like perhaps he didn't belong there anymore without him.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this wasn't my best writing (or the best writing in general), it was just kinda something i had in my head, though in canon i'm not sure how much sense it makes. i might write a chapter two about this steve perhaps dealing with bucky's death but i'm not sure, we'll see. hope you didn't hate this! comment your thoughts and/or constructive criticism/ whatever you have to say i guess. also i guess tell me if u'd like another chapter?


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